ACCIO FRIDAY NIGHT!!!
It can never come quickly enough, especially before a long weekend.
As promised, I wanted to share some recipes from the Harry Potter dinner party.
Since there was so much food, I’ll have to force-feed you British recipes over the course of several posts. Today we’re tackling the pork tenderloin and gillyweed slaw.
Remember Mom’s chicken and dumpling soup? This is another one of her brilliant recipes. She serves it every year during the holidays, and every year it’s a hit. There is not a single scrap of that porker left on the platter when her dinner guests are finished.
And, like all forms of animal carnage, the ends are GOLDEN. Elbow your way to the front of the queue, deliver the smackdown, and get those ends. You’ll thank me later.
I went with roasted pork for the entree because (according to my Harry Potter cookbook…yes, I have a Harry Potter cookbook, don’t be jealous) the British eat a lot of roasted meats.
To start, take the best quality pork tenderloin you can find (I buy mine from Whole Foods, and I use their rating system to determine the best selection).
Now, I like to let the pork tenderloin sit in the fridge and marinate overnight, but that doesn’t stop me from beating it into oblivion in a (probably unnecessary) attempt to tenderize the already-tender piece of meat to its maximum capacity.
This sucker is like, falling apart by the time I’m done with it.
First, poke it all over with a fork, like you would a baked potato.
Then, throw that juicy piece of pig into a ziplock bag with all the other ingredients.
Zip ‘er up and pound the pork into oblivion (heh).
Yes, I know. I have the hands of a freak. Come see me in the sideshow. I’ll be the freak with small hands, dressed like a damn wizard.
- 1-2 pork tenderloins (each loin feeds about 3-4 people)
- 1/4 cup vegetable oil or olive oil
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
- 1/4 cup lemon juice
- 1/8-1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce (depending on how much you love this stuff…I always opt to use 1/4 cup)
- 1.5 teaspoons dried mustard
- 2-3 cloves minced garlic
- 2 scallions, sliced
- This recipe does not require salt, as you get plenty from the soy and Worcestershire sauces
- Remove pork from packaging, stick it generously with a fork to create lovely holes into which the marinade can seep.
- Toss the pork and the rest of the ingredients into a plastic baggie.
- Beat the sh*t out of the pork with your fists (while it’s in the bag – this will tenderize it and get that marinade nice and lodged into it).
- Let sit for several hours or overnight.
- To cook, the pork can be made on a grill or in the oven. If you use the oven, preheat it to 350 degrees. Place the pork on a pan that allows the juices to drain (a broiler pan is ideal). Cook the pork for an hour or so.
- If you choose to grill the pork, set up your grill to medium heat and leave it on there for about 20 minutes (maybe a little less).
- The internal temperature of the pork should read 160 degrees. Remove the loin from the oven or grill at about 155 and let it sit for 10 minutes. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CUTTING IT. After it sets for 10 minutes, test the temperature again.
- If you MUST cut into the pork and you think it needs more time, throw it back in the heat. Just make sure to let it rest again when you remove it so the juices can redistribute.
- Reduce the marinade and use over the pork after it is done.
When you’re all dunzo, you’ll end up salivating over this:
Impossibly tender on the inside, with a nice, salty and flavorful crust on the exterior.
SERIOUSLY. GET THE ENDS.
This was my way to incorporate something green, healthy and lowfat into this procession of otherwise carby, artery-clogging madness.
It’s so easy, a house elf could do it.
Start by thinly slicing fresh brussels sprouts and fennel.
Then simply toss them in a bowl with a bunch of other sh*t and you’re golden.
Ok well apparently my recipe widget doesn’t let you have more than one recipe per post, so here’s the brussels sprouts slaw. If you want to print it, just highlight it and when you go to print it, click “print selection.” Grumble grumble.
Gillyweed Slaw Recipe
- 1 pound brussels sprouts, thinly sliced
- 1/2 bulb – 1 whole bulb of fennel (depending on how large the bulb is), thinly sliced
- 2 tablespoons of pine nuts
- 1/8 cup red wine vinegar
- Squeeze of fresh lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons of cider vinegar
- Pinch sugar
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Thinly slice the brussels sprouts and fennel.
- Throw the pine nuts into a shallow saute pan over medium low heat. Shake ‘em around a little until they develop a nice golden color. Keep an eye on them because they burn quickly, and remove them from the pan when you’re finished.
- Toss everything together in a bowl. Voila.
Light, tangy and tasty. And virtually calorie-free. And filling.
(Hint: This would be life-altering if paired with a piece of tilapia or another flaky white fish for dinner.)
Question: What’s your favorite food mentioned in the Harry Potter books (or movies)?